Quotes by Ambrose Bierce (Journalist/American).

Showing 1-25 of 150
Votes
[+]
15
[-]
Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
8
[-]
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
10
[-]
Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
7
[-]
Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
15
[-]
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
7
[-]
Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
19
[-]
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
11
[-]
An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
9
[-]
Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
14
[-]
Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
20
[-]
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
20
[-]
Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
9
[-]
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
14
[-]
Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
23
[-]
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
8
[-]
Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
28
[-]
Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
4
[-]
Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
5
[-]
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
8
[-]
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
11
[-]
We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
10
[-]
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
11
[-]
Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
10
[-]
Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
• Ambrose Bierce
Votes
[+]
38
[-]
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
• Ambrose Bierce

Top 10 Topics

Support1611
Than17912
Vision785
Play6330
Idea4300
Earth1608
Heart2818
Leave1571
Foreign732
Deep1060
Back to Top