Quotes by H. L. Mencken (Writer/American).

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We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
• H. L. Mencken
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I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them.
• H. L. Mencken
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Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
• H. L. Mencken
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A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.
• H. L. Mencken
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In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
• H. L. Mencken
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Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.
• H. L. Mencken
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A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.
• H. L. Mencken
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Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.
• H. L. Mencken
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Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.
• H. L. Mencken
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Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so long ago.
• H. L. Mencken
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No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as wise as the average woman of forty-eight.
• H. L. Mencken
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A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
• H. L. Mencken
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All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
• H. L. Mencken
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The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
• H. L. Mencken
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Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99 % of them are wrong.
• H. L. Mencken
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War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
• H. L. Mencken
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Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.
• H. L. Mencken
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One of the most mawkish of human delusions is the notion that friendship should be eternal, or, at all events, life-long, and that any act which puts a term to it is somehow discreditable.
• H. L. Mencken
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Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
• H. L. Mencken
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Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love.
• H. L. Mencken
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Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
• H. L. Mencken
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Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
• H. L. Mencken
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A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.
• H. L. Mencken
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It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
• H. L. Mencken
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Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.
• H. L. Mencken

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