Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld (Comedian/American).

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You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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I like definitive things.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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Stand-up is hard. Or to keep it at a certain level is hard: I have no writers but me.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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There's different kinds of laughs. It's like a baseball lineup: this guy's your power hitter, this guy gets on base, this guy works out walks. If everybody does their job, we're gonna win.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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You can be passionate about anything.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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I think of myself more as a sportsman than I do an artist.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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I've done a number of Super Bowl ads. And that is the best advertising of the year. That is when people realize they're going to be compared directly against other ads.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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You spend so much time in the world of virtual that the actual - which nothing is more actual than stand-up - it's a painful experience for the audience, and the comedian a lot of time - we miss that.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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I don't want to be too critical of what other people do, but when people go back to do the same thing that they did, I'm completely confused. I'm like, 'Didn't you make that movie already?' I've been very fortunate, and I'm well taken care of, so the least I can do is try to go forward.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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Forty to 60 I would say is your prime. That's when you know the most, you've seen the most, you understand the most, and you still have some physical energy.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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I do probably 60 concerts a year in the States. And I go out to clubs in the week. I'm doing new stuff all the time.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I have to humiliate myself.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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To a guy like me, a laugh is full of information.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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I do a little thing about the way people shake the sweetener packet. You know, like they're all excited. I want to get all the granules down to one end. I love all these rituals.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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I'm a big believer than a great bit is a great bit - if I go and see someone I love, like Robert Klein. I want to hear some classics and some new stuff. But a great stand-up bit takes a long time to really polish and perfect, and they're beautiful things when they're done.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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The Internet offers opportunities that are more unique than ever before. With TV, I know I'm making 22 minutes; I know there's a commercial in the middle. With the Internet, no one knows anything. No rules.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.
• Jerry Seinfeld
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I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.
• Jerry Seinfeld

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