Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke (Comedian/American).

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Opinions of language are as interesting as opinions of arithmetic.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.'
• P. J. O'Rourke
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There are selves too big for one person to contain. You cannot call them selfish. There is nothing -ish about such selves. They are the self, as it were, itself.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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I don't watch much television.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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Moviemakers are rewarded with tax write-offs if, when seeking a location that looks like America, they seek it in America.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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I am unboreable in the great outdoors.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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Guns are the ultimate bulwark against government misbehavior.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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Some taxpayers may object to a print journalism bailout on the grounds that it mostly benefits the liberal elite. And we can't blame taxpayers for being reluctant to subsidize the reportorial careers of J-school twerps who should have joined the Peace Corps and gone to Africa to 'speak truth to power' to Robert Mugabe.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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Tel Aviv is new, built on the sand dunes north of Jaffa in the 1890s, about the same time Miami was founded. The cities bear a resemblance in size, site, climate, and architecture, which ranges from the bland to the fancifully bland.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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I don't even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I've never used a computer.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party members. It's been a general stimulus.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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College professors used to be badly paid and worth it. Colleges used to be modest institutions; they should go back to being modest institutions.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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Soldiers are not policemen, and it's very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police duties. It's not what they're trained for, or equipped for.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It's a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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A penny will not buy a penny postcard or a penny whistle or a single piece of penny candy. It will not even, if you're managing the U.S. Mint, buy a penny.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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Lack of romance is my real objection to writing on a computer.
• P. J. O'Rourke
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The baby boomers' politics have covered a wide band of silliness, from the Weather Underground to the Timothy McVeigh types. The great majority of us are well in the middle of that spectrum, but still, there's been both leftie silliness and right-wing silliness.
• P. J. O'Rourke

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