Quotes by Penn Jillette (Entertainer/American).

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I love the idea that horror and fear is a celebration of health and life.
• Penn Jillette
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It wasn't success, because Teller and I, by the time Asparagus Valley got together - within a year, we had achieved all our goals. I mean, our goal was to earn our living doing exactly what we wanted. Which is many people's goal.
• Penn Jillette
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'Moxie' is a name that was created by an American for the first national soft drink and then went on to mean chutzpah, and that's nice.
• Penn Jillette
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'Zolten' is a common Hungarian name, it's my wife's maiden name and most importantly, it's the name of Dracula's dog.
• Penn Jillette
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I intend to do the Penn & Teller show until they pry my cheesy magic wand from my cold dead fingers.
• Penn Jillette
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When I was a kid, politicians wanted to avoid talking about religion if they could. John F. Kennedy couldn't duck the issue, being Catholic and all. So how did he address it? By reminding Americans that religion shouldn't be an issue, that he was concentrating on big things like poverty and hunger and leading the space race.
• Penn Jillette
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The most important part of life is work, it's the flow, it's getting stuff done, feeling like you're doing something.
• Penn Jillette
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Someone who is a good person should have no fear of the government whatsoever.
• Penn Jillette
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The only difference between Obama and Bush is that Obama is killing more people.
• Penn Jillette
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The only place we were really told to tone it down - where other people would use the word censorship, but I wouldn't - was when we did MTV right after the Beavis and Butt-head thing.
• Penn Jillette
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Barack Obama is way smarter than Bush - so way, way smarter than me. Obama is way more charismatic than me.
• Penn Jillette
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My body really, really wanted to reproduce when I was 15. It took a lot of civilization, socialization, willpower and some emulsion polymerization technology for me not to reproduce at 15.
• Penn Jillette
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Religion is often just tribalism: pride in a group one was born into, a group that is often believed to have 'God' on its side.
• Penn Jillette
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When you look at the actual numbers, the number of people who died after 9/11 was greater than the number of people who died in 9/11, even if you are talking Americans. But you know, I don't like to talk Americans. I want to talk everybody. More innocent people died after 9/11 because of 9/11 than died in 9/11.
• Penn Jillette
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The secret truth of 'Celebrity Apprentice' is that it isn't very hard... 'Celebrity Apprentice' is easy like junior high is easy. All the arithmetic, the creative writing and the history are super simple, but like junior high, you do that easy work surrounded by people who are full-tilt, hormone-raging bug nutty.
• Penn Jillette
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I have no evidence that libertarianism leads to a better life. I just think it is morally right.
• Penn Jillette
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The medium is not the message - the message is the message.
• Penn Jillette
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Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it.
• Penn Jillette
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In my run-ins with Christians... I find that they really are good moral people. And we overlap on everything, and they don't seem to be the kind of people that are waiting to hear voices to tell them what to do.
• Penn Jillette
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'Celebrity Apprentice' has more integrity and is the most straightforward show I've ever seen.
• Penn Jillette
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I'm not misunderstood. I am brash. I make my living being brash.
• Penn Jillette
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Every poker player is smarter than me.
• Penn Jillette
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I love the feeling of shredded wheat. I love healthy bird food with a fun-to-eat feel. Then you spray them with sugar, and I'm there.
• Penn Jillette
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I'm totally against straight marriage - even though I'm married. I don't think heterosexual marriage is any of the government's business.
• Penn Jillette
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I'm always surprised when the corporate world does stupid things, because they're often not very stupid in hindsight.
• Penn Jillette

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